American Beauty

Carolyn Burnham: Uh, who's car is that out front?
Lester Burnham: Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!

Lester Burnham: You don't get to tell me what to do ever again.

Carolyn Burnham: This is a four thousand dollar sofa upholstered in Italian silk. It is not just a couch.
Lester Burnham: IT'S JUST A COUCH!

Carolyn Burnham: Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you very closely, and you didn't screw up once!

Lester Burnham: This isn't life, its just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living. Well, honey, that's just nuts.

Lester Burnham: [narrating] Janie's a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her.

Lester Burnham: I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist. You two do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, and I don't complain.
Carolyn Burnham: Oh, you don't complain? Then I must be psychotic, then! What is this? Yeah, let's bring in the laugh-meter and see how loud it gets.
Lester Burnham: [Lester throws the asparagus plate at the wall] Don't interrupt me, honey!
Lester Burnham: [sits back down to eat] Oh, yeah, and one more thing, from now on we're going to have alternate dinner music because frankly - and I don't think I'm alone here -
[looks in Jane's direction] Lester Burnham: I'm tired of this Lawrence Welk shit!

Carolyn Burnham: Are you trying to look unattractive?
Jane Burnham: Yes.
Carolyn Burnham: Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably.

[Lester has just caught Caroline cheating with the Real Estate King]
Carolyn Burnham: Uh Buddy, this is my...
Lester Burnham: Her husband. We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time.

Lester Burnham: I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.
Jim Olmeyer: Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?
Lester Burnham: I want to look good naked!

Lester Burnham: I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up.

Brad Dupree: Man, you are one twisted fuck.
Lester Burnham: Nope, I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose.

Catering Boss: I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here.
Ricky Fitts: Fine. So don't pay me.
Catering Boss: Excuse me?
Ricky Fitts: I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone.
Catering Boss: ...asshole.
Lester Burnham: I think you just became my personal hero!

Ricky Fitts: My dad thinks I paid for all this with catering jobs. Never underestimate the power of denial.

Lester Burnham: [narrating] It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself.

Ricky Fitts: [after Ricky's dad beats him up] Mom, I'm leaving.
Barbara Fitts: OK. Wear a raincoat.

Lester Burnham: [narrating] That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.